Understanding your Core Values: A Guide to Self-Discovery, Imaginal Journal Prompts Included!!
Your Core Values provide a perpetual Compass
Understanding Your Core Values: A Guide to Self-Discovery
The exploration of core values is central to finding meaning, direction, and fulfillment in life. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), developed by Dr. Steven Hayes, values are defined as "chosen life directions"—guiding principles that help navigate life’s challenges and decisions (Hayes et al., 1999). When an individual connects with their core values, they find a compass that directs their behavior, providing clarity amidst uncertainty and conflict.
Similarly, Stoicism speaks to the importance of discerning ones values. A successful “happy” life comes directly from living most in harmony with one’s values. Marcus Aurelius well known “Meditations” was his nightly practice of assessing himself on how he adhered to his own standards and values. Did I show up as the person I wanted to be today? Did I act in alignment with my beliefs and moral code when I conducted business today? Was I honest, respectful and kind? How did I treat myself, attend to my needs, respond to others when they were unpleasant or asked something of me…did I show up how I want to show up? Marcus Aurelius and other Stoics found that living according to their values was the Key.
The Role of Values in ACT
Values serve as a North Star
In ACT, values are also foundational- vital - to the model. ACT does a good job of defining precisely what values are. Steven Hayes is a prolific wordsmith, and an extremely deep and meticulous thinker. The rabbit hole is available should you be interested. For now we will stick with the core elements. ACT emphasizes that values are not the same as goals, behaviors, or interests; rather, they are ongoing, intentional commitments to particular patterns of behavior (Hayes, 2005). When values are identified, they function as a north star, guiding choices in work, relationships, and self-care practices. By aligning actions with these intrinsic values, individuals can cultivate a more meaningful life, even in the face of discomfort and adversity.
Alrighty then, seems easy enough to get going…what are my values? What are your values? Take a moment and jot down a atleast 5 solid values that come to mind.
If you did that without any trouble, that’s great we are on our way. Usually though, people need a little more prompting to understand what values are and then they can identify theirs more easily. For example, many individuals struggle to identify their values because they often confuse them with goals, external achievements or societal expectations. The distinction ACT makes is essential—values are not what one does but why one does it. For example, a person’s value might be compassion, which could manifest as pursuing a career in healthcare, engaging in community service, or simply offering a listening ear to a friend. Each of these behaviors stems from the same core value but takes different forms, demonstrating the flexibility and personal nature of values.
The Influence of Society and Trends: confusion, north star is blocked
The modern world is very loud, many would say it is too loud. The incessant and intrusive barrage of shiny objects, the bombardment of fleeting trends and external influences, can make identifying and holding onto personal values challenging. The problems with so much stuff is that within all that slush, the things we actually wanted to hold onto get junked in with Netflix, Starbucks and Facebook, it’s easy to lose the thread.
What’s my name again
We really need that Northern Star when this sort of spinning happens, like being stuck in a ditch and you can’t get the wheels to pick up any traction….you can’t find the thread of …YOU
“What do I believe in again, what’s my name again? This reminds me of that Blink 182 (1999) song, “What’s my age again?” which speaks to an insidious, distraction fueled culture which ultimately disrupts and even destroys his ability to engage in a meaningful personal Life, connection and experience.
Our culture is absolutely overrun with this today. When Blink wrote that song in 1999, people identified with that plight, but today, an overwhelming number of people identify with this plight. UNLESS you have caught on and made some very real changes in your life to limit content intake—-what you allow into your mind and heart each day, and I mean really limit it, you are feeling it too. Many people find themselves influenced despite themselves, by societal messaging or the advertised success of others, leading them to adopt values that do not actually resonate with them, not within their authentic self. This phenomenon is very common and, according to ACT principles, is a form of "experiential avoidance" (Hayes et al., 1996). When people distance themselves from their true values, they may experience increased psychological distress, as their behaviors are not in alignment with what truly matters to them.Values are highly individual and stem from one's upbringing, culture, and unique life experiences. Recognizing this individuality is key to understanding that what works for one person may not work for another, and it is vital to accept and embrace this diversity.
The Fluid Nature of Values
Values are not static; they evolve as individuals grow and adapt to life’s changing circumstances. ACT highlights the importance of cognitive flexibility—understanding that values may shift as new experiences shape perspectives (Hayes, 2005). The capacity to recognize and adapt to these changes without judgment is crucial. As people gain insights and go through transformative experiences, their values might manifest differently or shift entirely. This is a normal part of the growth process.
Let’s get started identifying Values…the best way to do this is writing. There are many methods, but let’s begin with these prompts:
Journal Prompts for Values Exploration
Incorporating journaling as a tool for values exploration is a practical and effective exercise that aligns with ACT principles. It encourages mindfulness and acceptance, providing an opportunity for individuals to observe and connect with their inner experiences without judgment (Hayes & Smith, 2005). Below are several prompts designed to facilitate this process:
Morning Routine: Consider describing an ideal morning, focusing on what truly aligns with your values. This exercise can reveal priorities such as balance, leisure, or independence, and how these might shape daily routines.
Core values to consider: Balance, Leisure, Self-Discipline, Independence
Future Self Visualization: Writing about the future self in the present tense, without focusing on perfection, can offer clarity. This practice is consistent with the ACT concept of creating a "values-based life," encouraging individuals to envision a future aligned with their core values (Harris, 2008).
Core values to consider: Personal Development, Exploration, Family, Career
Reflection on Heroes: Reflecting on admired figures can reveal underlying values. What aspects of these individuals resonate—compassion, justice, adventure? Identifying these traits provides insight into personal values and life directions.
Core values to consider: Advocacy, Compassion, Justice, Grace
Art and Media: Exploring the impact of art, books, or music on one’s life can be a powerful exercise. Media that resonates deeply often reflects important aspects of the self, revealing values like beauty, creativity, or connection.
Core values to consider: Art, Beauty, Creativity, Connection
Friendships: Examining social connections and preferences for either large groups or intimate circles can help identify values related to community and relationships. This prompt aligns with ACT’s emphasis on understanding the relational dimensions of values (Hayes et al., 1999).
Core values to consider: Community, Family, Connection
Imagining a Crisis Response: Reflecting on what one would prioritize in an emergency situation can be revealing. Often, values around family, safety, and nostalgia come to the forefront, illustrating the deep emotional connections underlying these principles.
Core values to consider: Family, Safety, Home
Online Behavior: Reflecting on digital behavior, such as frequent browsing topics or saved images, can provide insight into values related to aesthetics, personal development, or a desire for balance and order.
Core values to consider: Aesthetics, Balance, Personal Development
Common Disagreements: Identifying recurring disagreements or debates with others can be insightful. Often, values exist in the space between an individual and what they resist or struggle to accept (Harris, 2008).
Core values to consider: Activism, Ethics, Freedom, Tradition
Exploring Vulnerabilities: Examining perceived flaws or guilt can reveal underlying values, highlighting what is important and meaningful. ACT encourages an objective approach to this self-reflection, emphasizing acceptance and non-judgment (Hayes, 2005).
Core values to consider: Wholeness, Well-Being, Justice, Truth
Self as a Plant Metaphor: Describing oneself metaphorically as a plant can provide insights into strengths, resilience, and growth potential. This metaphorical exercise supports ACT’s focus on psychological flexibility and self-acceptance.
Core values to consider: Growth, Strength, Independence
Values-Based Life Assessment: Drawing a line down the middle of a page to list what is desired more of (e.g., laughter, mindfulness) and less of (e.g., clutter, distraction) is a straightforward exercise to identify core values and areas for change. This aligns with ACT’s emphasis on moving towards a values-based life (Harris, 2008).
Core values to consider: Balance, Joy, Health, Efficiency
Identifying core values is an essential step in creating a life aligned with one's authentic self. ACT emphasizes that values are not about rigid adherence to ideals but about fostering a life of intention and meaning. As values evolve, individuals are encouraged to approach them with curiosity and acceptance, understanding that this process is ongoing and fluid. Engaging in reflective exercises like journaling can facilitate this journey, providing a deeper understanding of what truly matters.
Remember to approach with curiosity vs. judgment during the work. Exploring values in an open, flexible, and mindful way can cultivate a more meaningful and fulfilling life path, deeply rooted in what is Divinely, uniquely YOU. Now that is authentic.
References
Blink-182. (1999). What's My Age Again? On Enema of the State [CD]. MCA Records.
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: An Experiential Approach to Behavior Change. Guilford Press.
Hayes, S. C., & Smith, S. (2005). Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New Harbinger Publications.
Harris, R. (2008). The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living. Trumpeter Books.
Holiday, R. (2014). The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph. Portfolio.